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"S · Squish · Sqoosh" · A · Raindrop · Fell · Inside · my · Brain

And I've never been the same

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i always knew the husband and i were quite the opposite but not like this - ESFJ (the husband) versus INTP (me!). That makes us complete opposites. i wasn't too happy about being described as this cold, detached, seemingly unfeeling person and erm, did the quiz twice and i still got INTP. Ah well. Still, it's just a quiz and it's not all true. i'm not so sure about the intellectual riguor and analyzing logic bit too. What's true, however, is the part where INTPs are terrible at small talk and tend to neglect outer appearance due to their inward orientation. Heh.
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i love boxes. i have always loved them. i love them so much that one day in primary school, i decided to buy a beautiful box for D's birthday. It was such a beautiful box that it costs as much as a present. i decided D wouldn't mind because surely she would understand beautiful boxes are a gift in itself. Very soon, D's birthday arrived. With much pleasure, i presented D with -the box-.
D: Oh what a beautiful box!
S: Beautiful isn't it? *beams*
D: Yes *proceeds to open the box*
(Box is, err, empty of course)
D: ???
S: Your birthday present is this beautiful box! *beams*
D: ???
What an act of cruelty. i'm sorry lah. My only excuse is that i was still in primary school. i never did it again... and i'm glad D is still friends with me.
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Context - S in Singapore and W in Italy, the land of gelatos.
S : i had only 1 meal yesterday because i forgot to eat and when i remembered, i was too tired.
W : Me too
S: You also had 1 meal  yesterday ??
W: I haven't had gelato in 2 days.
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At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge,
keeping track of the things I did wrong,
so as to know whether I merited heaven
or hell when I die.
He was out there sort of like a president.
I recognized His picture when I saw it,
but I really didn't know Him.

But later on
when I met Christ,
it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride,
but it was a tandem bike,
and I noticed that Christ
was in the back helping me pedal.

I don't know just when it was
that He suggested we change places,
but life has not been the same since.

When I had control,
I knew the way.
It was rather boring,
but predictable . . .
It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead,
He knew delightful long cuts,
up mountains,
and through rocky places
at breakneck speeds,
it was all I could do to hang on!
Even though it looked like madness,
He said, "Pedal!"

I worried and was anxious
and asked,
Where are you taking me?
He laughed and didn't answer,
and I started to learn to trust.

I forgot my boring life
and entered into the adventure.
And when I'd say, "I'm scared,"
He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed,
gifts of healing,
and joy.
They gave me gifts to take on my journey,
my Lord's and mine.

And we were off again.
He said, "Give the gifts away;
they're extra baggage, too much weight."
So I did,
to the people we met,
and I found that in giving I received,
and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him,
at first,
in control of my life.
I thought He'd wreck it;
but He knows bike secrets,
knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners,
knows how to jump to clear high rocks,
knows how to fly to shorten scary passages.

And I am learning to shut up and pedal
in the strangest places,
and I'm beginning to enjoy the view
and the cool breeze on my face
with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.

And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore,
He just smiles and says . . . "Pedal."

-- author unknown

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I measure every Grief I meet,
With narrow, probing Eyes,
I wonder if It weighs like Mine
Or has an Easier size.
- Emily Dickinson
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The city of cats and the city of men exist one inside the other, but they are not the same city.
- Italo Calvino
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The husband has gone to Italy for a good 11 days and for the first time in my life, i'm living on my own in the house. i know, it's not a big deal. It's just... PARTY time (!!!)
And for the first time in years, I could sleep like a "star" (the shape i mean) on the bed.
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Wednesday afternoon with mother
i made Kirara Matcha Rice Tea to go with the Bateel dates which Veena got us from Dubai. To be honest, i've never loved dates (except in chinese soups) until this. Bateel dates are superb. They've got a new fan in me.
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Teaching has made me discover that the students and the husband are uncannily alike in their love for video/movies and games, except that my students are 19-21 years old and my husband is almost twice the age. Truly, people grow older but stay the same inside, or at least some people.
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With a pair of steely yellow bright eyes watching me as i potter around the living room, Dusty has planted itself infront of our doorstep these few days. When the husband failed to notice the black silhouette next to the door mat, Dusty even purred as if to say, "Heyyy i'm here. Can't you see how cute i am? Won't you pay me some attention? Meow Meow."

So in short, i think we have gotten ourselves a new fluffy friend at tiong bahru now. Quite a change from the cold shoulder we used to get.
It took the silly cat Dusty 2 years(!) to decide that we are finally worth his time and (slight) affection.
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